2016 (Part 1)

The first quarter of 2016 was vague as I focused on working to earn income for school. It led me becoming restless as the months go along in a blurred ; with no goal in mind.

Along the process, I became fidgety and abnormally sensitive. Over my appearance exceptionally, and the size I was in when I checked my older photos in facebook after CNY this year which has been a routine I do annually to reflect on my actions over the past year.

Apparently,

in Dec 2014

in 2015, this was me.

Obviously, you will think I'm exaggerating with the photo above, as it does not show that I am that fat.
How about this next?

The moment this photo 'pop' up, I literally choked on the cup noodles and potato chips I was munching on.

Yes, why? I have this habit to slouch whenever I'm sitting or standing.

I love to wear dark-colored clothes because they always manage to cover up my 'fatty' areas.
Peeps out there, do you notice something from 2014 - 2015?

I did not lose my weight. In fact, I gained more if you really noticed. And, this is just way too obvious that I'm becoming a ball. Due to this photo, I tried various methods of dieting and losing weight, which worked.

Yeap, this is me during CNY 2016,

I had managed to lose 2 -3 kilograms as you can see, but I felt it is not enough for me to look great in clothes that are simple, elegant yet cheap.

"Situations which you face whereby clothes which you can wear does not mean it will look nice on you, once you wear it."

I have enough of such situation (👆 ) to last for a lifetime.

Therefore, I decided to seek assistance from an old friend of mine during early April as school period is nearing, and I'm getting much more fidgety and emotionally senstive.

He is really amazing; he managed to assist me to lose  kilogtrams which I never have managed to imagine.

+ 8.2KILOGRAMS IN 1 MONTH!!! +

"A dream come true, honestly."

Would you have imagined such events occurring in your life? Would you?

I didn't.

This friend of mine had became another mentor of mine (other than Dad), assisting me patiently, painstakingly w/o complaints on my attitude through.

I felt it was a blessing to met him; as I managed to meet and obtain many opportunities in becoming a better person.

The losing of weight had managed to assist me in building my confidence and self-esteem back gradually, also capturing attention of people around me.

Especially of those who laughed and mocked in the past.

Through this journey, I had managed to develop my character, becoming a more disciplined person, and not that weak girl which I was back in 2014 and 2015. Crying and brawling over the slightest issues.

I'm not sure of what thoughts you peeps have, probably the fact which I'm lying (in terms of the weight loss) , but why would I?

I want to seek attention from people, getting noticed by them; but

INFAMOUSITY

in acknowledging the efforts I made which led me gone so far.

+I shall end off my post here with

💖 + HAPPYDADDAY + 💖

Thank you so much for everything. Without you as a great mentor in my life, I wouldn't have been able to achieve that much in life. You are a person which I have always looked up and upon to when I have problems. You never failed to solve my problems, despite you having your own.

+ My hero daddy, I love you. + 💗

2015

It's holidays.

Wow. What a start up in a post. I planned to write "I'm back" literally, but I felt that will be too infantile. I guess that still makes me = me.

I realized I made an update in April, however, it is delved into the emotional aspect whereby I'm having my moments in being a whiny teenager. Well, this can't be helped when the hormone 'oestrogen' exists within me, yeah?

All right, back to the main point, I'm here to give a reflection / "sum up" on how 2015 was to me.

To begin off, 2015 was more of a recent event that is the turnover point in my teenage fairytale world. I can't exactly empathise whether the year is really bad. In human terms, as life tends to give a little lemons, you see.

As an individual whom love fairy tales in happy endings, 2015 was a year whereby I had tons of problems which come by running to me one by another. Those moments were so far the lowest points of the life that I was having as I'm feeling very distressed and troubled over them. It was also a year whereby I get the chance & opportunity to see whom are the people who really care for me as plainly Huiyin; staying through the whole ordeal of her being an ultimate bitch, and probably as a caring person? (Hmmm..)
However, thanks to my family (♡) and people like Wongwong, I had managed to overcome them and solve it in a gradual manner. :')

Throughout the year, I managed to obtain and gather new friends whom I could really trust, like people such as Hao Jie and Ong Lee whom are really goofballs that always make me go howling like a mad woman for the most lubricious reasons. These days, the people which I had came across in few years back, told me that I have changed as an individual; being in personality and appearance likewise. I was not exactly impressed and overjoyed in terms whereby I had gone slimmer and have a more composed persona as an individual. That's what life had done to me over the previous year which led me to where I am today.

Now, I am a student studying first year in Republic Polytechnic; in the new full-time course 'Diploma in Engineering Design with Business'. I am not as socially outspoken as how I am like in the olden days and this problem kinda got me a little worried over the 3 years I am going to be living in at here.

However, I had come to the fact whereby people should not judge by what they just see and observe alone, however listen to the person which they are interacting with, be it verbally or etcetera.

The fact whereby trying to be somebody whom you are not, is a very exhausting and knackering manner.

Moving on, I have been trying to upgrade myself in terms of cooking and technology during the holidays which is now; so to not spend the time moping about in home doing nothing other than sleeping and eating. I have just finished making the codes for my blog, as seen. It is definitely not an easy process like how I thought in the past.

(People whom known me long enough, have known my habits in blogskins.)

However, this time, I have not used anyone's skin in making it as this is made by me alone, whereby the only aspect is of having backgrounds and fonts which could be found in Google. I still ♡ skins that are colourful and complicated. However, I realized they are not of my style these days. I decided to leave my old posts alone as they are still a part of me representing a side which most of you have not seen.

I will delve into the aspect of 2016 in my next post. Stay tuned.

Humans.

In this world, one does not have anybody except for himself. Trusting, believing or having hopes too much, would just lead to higher chances of disappointment in oneself. Life is created in order to let a person go on their own journey, meeting many obstacles and miracles to prove it being meaningful. God is within us. We are God's eyes in seeing the world, being painted ugly or beautifully. Emotions such as happiness or sadness, just come together with the package when you are born. God gave humans a chance to create their own paths in the way they wanted. Each choice and step we made, determines our present and upcoming future. Emotions, I really dislike them. They always have a way of getting into me and my decisions more than I thought. I guess it could be said that I'm sentimental. I'm really irritated to be the one at the short end of the stick. Being involved with people who are always not worth. Friends, are they reliable? Trustable? Sincere? Fake? No one knows what they are thinking by heart, except for they themselves. There are moments whereby they are selfish, ungrateful, and being ignorant. The same goes for family and of course, I myself. WHY? Because we are humans, we will never understand how the way our brains twist and work in so many zillion ways. Therefore, we have family and friends to advise us, and guide us through the ropes. But remember, one's decisions must always be made for himself and not other people because whenever there is a debate, the chances of you yourself losing is always higher than the chances of you winning. And this, was caused by your will and determination which is a lot or in a lacking state. One is always alone, we cannot have high expectations on people to assist us when we really need them. This is because, the only person you can truly trust and do the job is yourself, and not people who will just get you into a emotional mess. A trivial mess, would eventually become a big fire, if its not handle quickly, efficiently and with care.

WHAT DID I WANNA DO?!

Hey guys, how's life? It's been real long since I have posted. To be honest, I have been lost in time that I do not know so many months have passed. And next week, My 'O' Level Oral is already starting. MT 'O' Level results being released.

Honestly, I am immune to it. Why? I don't know. I am LOST. REAL LOST. But what am I doing to settle my problem? Nothing. What do I really want in my life? I also don't know. Dearest Junxiang have been real worried for my welfare because I'm not studying at all. Ever since mid years. To be honest, I could not help but to cry over it. I am always crying every night under his arms, not knowing what to do; or just sleeping. WHAT DO I WANT FOR MYSELF?! I really don't know. My family, friends and especially Junxiang worry for me.
Crying is useless because I cant get anything out of it. My parents are working so hard just to give me money to go school. Even my classmates, those who do not study,  is already going for it. And me, still lost.

Is coming back for 'O' Levels the right choice? I do not know anymore; or should I quit school and go roaming around for a year, reflecting before I come back studying. Will it be too late?

I am lost. Everyone is worried. Yet me. Cant be bothered. Junxiang and me just quarrelled again. Over my attitude once again. He is worried, even bothering to tell me, which is rare for him to do so. And me, just being like that.

Can someone save me please?!
Am I bothering my loved ones with my problems?
Everything is just not going onto my way.

Someone, save me..

Happy Chinese New Year ~



2ndSis & Me (Didn't manage to take with my first sister only though :/)

 

With the cousins~



Hi guys, it's been a long time since I posted? Erm, actually not really a long time. Hahah. Anyways Happy Chinese New Year! May the angpaos I get will be more, :B. Just joking. School is really stressful with all the homework teachers have given and it don't seem to end. I don't even have time to write my fanfic because I need to focus on my F&N coursework other than these few days of rest. To be honest, I'm real tired. Like really tired, and definitely I am gaining weight. I think I'm going to cry when the PE teachers take my weight next Tuesday, because I have been eating a lot these few days, hahah. Anyway, Congratulations to me taking GPA (Good Progress Award) & EAGLES Award. EAGLES Award is regarding leadership, that's what I heard from my sister! I'm really afraid for this year's 'O' Levels. Hope these few days of relax won't slacken my motivation to do well. I shall update my story since I have on-ed my computer today. So I really hope the gods will bless me to do well this year. So yes, wish me luck!



Edusave Award Ceremony.

Me, when I'm procrastinating during studying ;/.

This year may be a tough year for me, but I am going to try my best on surviving for this year. Really hope I can go to Poly and get the course I want. So, God, please bless me!

O LEVELS

Look at this fat face! :X.

Hey guys, finally back after some timeee~ Yes, I'm taking my 'O' Levels this year, and I'm kinda stressed about it, to be honest. Well, coursework is coming in next week & this time, instead of 30 pages, it will be 50 pages at least. That's what my teachers requested, no, demanded. And like, the stupid Weight Management Programme(WMP) is also starting next week. 1st day of the week, and first period is Physical Education(PE) ! And obviously, the school is going to train us for NAPFA which happens every year in the beginning! Worst thing is, I can't even run half a round in the field! I mean like WTF, for 2.4km run, I have to run at least 8 rounds and have a specific timing for it! Curse the school, I swear! How am I even going to pass the stupid test when I know I will fucking fail but they keep request for us students to retake & retake if fail, until we pass! It's so unreasonable.

Tests already started this week, and I still have tests on next Wednesday! All teachers also planning to start Evening Academy & ISP earlier this year instead of last year cause they say last year is a rush! In fact, that's so not true! Like all my schedules is so packed that I can't even take a break! Coming home, straight away study after bath and etc. I know is so unlike me to study, but that's the freaking truth! This year is DEFINITELY more rushing than last year. Like everything start so early. I know the school teachers is concerned for the students' academics & health, but seriously they need to use their own brains to see whether the students have enough time to rest and whether the schedules are packed anot. I mean come on, we students are also humans! Be reasonable. And the teachers still dare say they need to start early.

Worst thing is, I don't even know my F&N coursework syallbus because now is somehow like jumping from 'N' Levels to 'O' Levels, so definitely there are parts that needed to be added on to the new coursework. Unfortunately, Ms Tay did not say and she is going for a throat surgery or something. May God bless her! So for the mean time, the teacher that is going to take over invigilating us for the coursework is Ms Shirley Goh! She is an okay teacher, but she talks very fast and I doubt she will give any of the Sec5 students any help in doing the coursework because is part of the National Exams!

Well, 'O' Level results for 2013 is going to come out on NEXT MONDAY! All Sec4E/5N is invited to watch the ceremony! Good luck to last year 'O' Level students, and yes, I'm definitely going to say this. For once in my life, I'm really actually feeling stressed! God, please help me~~~ And I would like to add on, I'm losing friends again. Definitely, but I don't see the point of trying to make up with them because in the end, they will still leave me like what a certain girl did. I may act like I don't care, but the truth is, I did.

Shall blog again another time. Meanwhile, please wish me luck & sorry to my fanfic readers because I may not have time to update my fanfics.

With loves,
MIIKO HUIS VAN BLOED

P.s.Meanwhile, did I forget to say I change my new nickname to Huiyin Armel? I think is quite a good name though because I also can change into Armel Huiyin, but Miiko Huis Van Bloed is definitely going to stay as my online nickname known to everyone! So yes, if you want to know me personally, follow @huiyinang on twitter!

Merry Christmas.

Look! I have a new school bag for my Secondary 5(Oh yeah, I forget to mention on my results; shall do it later). This is currently supposed to be my birthday present which my second sister, JiaWei bought online. Unfortunately, it was delivered to my mailbox yesterday night! This is the backview of it. The bag is tribal. Beautiful, eh? My oldest sister, Natasha said that and she is jealous of me having it. Hahahah! :).

Front view of it! :).

 

Teach my sisters to make Christmas Log Cake. Well, I bake with them and the result is like that, I guess it is not bad, huh? :D. Both of them done a great job in learning anyways! This is the full view of it! I think I never take properly so it look so vertical ;/

 

 

Cut- off version of it! It's delicious though :B.

 



Homemade supper made my sisters and I for Daddy! Dad loves it and really appreciates it. But my dad damn ATAS one, he willing to eat it because it is made out of love by my sisters and I. We shared it together with our mother too! :D. Family love~~

And this is my Christmas presents that is bought by my UNCLE when he came back from KL! Hahah, I heard from my cousin that he practically went to every phone store just to find me cute covers cause I request it from him! Thank you, Uncle! I love you!

And lastly, I'm ending off with an epic picture of me! Due to the baking, I think I'm gaining back all my body fats! And yes, I'm celebrating belated Christmas party with Herbal Life on the 31st December. Seriously, I think my weight is gaining back :/. And on 1st January, is my Grandma's birthday but at the same time is the day of the F&N BBQ with my Sec4N mates! I really will miss them a lot since most of them is planning to go for ITE ;/. So now, I'm still unsure to decide whether want go anot. :(. Anyways, I'm going off to Sec5N! I am going to study hard enough in order to go in to a great course when I get into Poly, Wish me luck people! And I'm going to update my fanfic soon, my readers seem to be waiting and I keep on delaying due to baking pastries to give my friends for this festive seasons! Lastly, BELATED MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone!

Sweet sixeenth.

 My birthday have been quite a havoc. I went to Herbal Life with my sister and mother to drink the shakes. And yes, the managers, Peter and Mandy have bought me twelve cupcakes ! So DELICIOUS I swear to God people! I  And yes, after that I went to Pasta Mania with Junxiang, Li Yuan, Melody, Jingru, Joey, Jinxi, Ryan and Raymond! Junxiang gave a birthday treat though! In case you guys thought we are still together, no. Me and him have broke up.

After Pasta Mania, I went with my sister, Jiawei to facial! Look at her face! HAHAH!


 

HAHAH! LOOK AT IT! Just joking though. But her face really gets better after the facial. Anyways my school friends did not remember my birthday though.Yes very sad I know. But, what can I do? I also can't force them or anything. And yes, I still love Junxiang if you are asking. Why didn't I patch back with him? I also don't know myself. Hahah. Anyways, 'N' Level results are coming out on 19th December! Oh my god, I'm seriously sacred like shit. I really hope I can go to Secondary 5. Because my dad will like officially kill me totally! I'm having Christmas Party with Mandy and the rest of Herbal Life people on 31st December! Really excited to go. My sister, Jia Wei loves the people since she keep talk to the people there. Well, it's rare for my sister to talk, you know! She is always very quiet. I know I have not been updating my stories but I have been busy with my own stuff. Hahah, to end off this, I shall put the photo of my dad giving my sister and I this cute Rilakuma pair!

The white one is 'Rila', which is mine. While the brown one is 'Kumar', which is my sister's! Hahah, my first sister, Natasha, gave the name for them, so the couple name is Rilakuma! Hahah, because white is more for girl, and brown is more for boy! Unique names aren't they? Credits to Natasha Ang ! SORRY FOR POSTING LATE~ OFF TO UPDATE MY FANFIC!
By the way, if you people are asking where I get my background photo, please google 'white vintage background' and you will definitely find until my background photo. I did not RIP, I got it from Google!

Back once more.

Hi. Back again. My life is definitely full of ups and downs. I mean after 4 years of my life in Henderson, I realized something. I am a pathetic person who have no true friends. Like really, I mean come on, my social circle is definitely big. But then there is no true friends for me out there. To be honest, I'm really very upset about it.

My dearest friend, Atikah is acting weird. I mean, I suddenly talk to her she will reply. But the next day she won't reply to my messages anymore. I mean come on, what's wrong? Honestly, I'm upset over it but I can't do anything about it if she don't confide in me with her problems.

Like what dad said, the real society and world is really cruel. If you are fat, you won't have any friends, even if you are smart, people will think you are stupid. When you do a tiny thing wrong even though you have done million of good things, people will still remember it. Why is the society so judgmental? It's like everything is so unfair. My friends can't be really considered as friends, I guess the ones that are really there for me are my family and sisters.

Many people ask me why am I always so optimistic, but the truth is I'm not. I always tried my best to stay happy but my insides are real hurt. I always tried to cheer up my so-called friends, but I get nothing in return and get abandoned by them. My friends said they have their own problems. Hello, the problems you all have experienced I have most probably experienced them already. I'm so tired of being judged and being said. At times, I hope I can lock myself up somewhere and just hide from the world. I feel like crying but I can't. Friends are not considered as friends because they made use of one another.

"If I could have one wish for relationships now, is that I would like to have a partner who is my true best friend and never leaves me."

I have went online searching for friends to talk with but all they talk is about sex. I'm really getting annoyed of it. I'm sick and tired of smiling for everyone when I myself is dying on the inside. Why is everyone being like this? I just pray that God one day will give me a true friend/partner who will never leaves or betray me. If only this could really happen. I really would be happy. Right now, I'm kinda breaking down but I can't cry. Is fairytales existing? No. Definitely not, happy endings have a price to pay. Now I could fully understand why my second sister is always saying she 'wanna die' when she is young, because that is exactly what I am feeling right now despite being fifteen. I wonder if any of my close friends remembered my birthday, or will they send me a birthday message? I would not bother anymore because all the messages are just words, not actions.

Bye for now. Check out my second story which is full of my own fantasies!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9859751/1/Back-To-The-Past

All alone. In this darkness.

Hey guys, back to post. Recently, I feel that life is very meaningless. I mean I had just got into a useless fight with my sister. I am not even angry with her or anything but I just bombarded her about her homework not being done. I'm being a bitch, aren't I? I don't know what I am doing. I mean 'N' Levels is like in 2 more weeks time than it will be gone and I am still here doing nothing. Playing with my phone like usual but I feel everything is like so boring and there is nothing for me to do. Am I stressed? I am not sure about that even when I asked myself personally. I'm like living in a life of a zombie. I barely know how to live anymore.

Yesterday, I just met up with Mummy Sherlene, I talked a lot with her and yes, I had fun. Maybe I am just a lonely girl with no friends. I mean no one really called me like last time. Yes, I received texts but I just get irritated with that someone who texted me for no reason? Am I PMSing? Last time I checked, my 'friend' had not yet come. Maybe it's coming real soon. Just feeling so effed with everything. People who don't deserve to be bitched by me have been bitched. I am lost. Really lost. I no longer know what am I doing. Do I even have true friends? I am not so sure about that anymore. People who always say of being there for me is gone. I am normally an optimistic person, but for me becoming like this must be real funny right. My 2nd sister has been through this since Primary school. Now she is always going out with her friends. Maybe I am just jealous about her so I bitched about her.

I don't know what to do anymore. How to be truly happy? Can someone teach me? Can someone help me to get out of this darkness, pretty please? I am truly lost. So tired of everything. I am truly lost.I really need help. I'm getting fatter and that's not helping. What's happening to me? I guess I can't be that optimistic person that I said I am by not caring what others say about me. I always care, it's just that I truly don't know what to say. Atikah is like facing the same problem as me? I don't know. Sometimes I feel she is just taking advantage of me, just because I am nice to her. It hurts really. Being in this world is so tiring since everyone is just that cruel to one another. At times, when I read fanfics online. I really wished that I can be the main character in those stories and receive happy endings, but it's not happening. Everything is crushed and gone. I guess my future is screwed. I am not satisfied with the way I live. My dad loves me always providing things I want. My sisters and I have our own path in life already. Things seemed to be changing so fast. Everything is so complicated. I just want to break down. If only somebody is there for me. It will be so nice. I want to have a friend who will be by my side at all times. Will it happen? I pray it will happen to me one day. If only fairy tales come true that will be nice.

Alright ! All sad stuff set aside. Guys please check out my fanfic at http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8831915/1/Pain-with-LOVE

Please kindly support me with your reviews ~ :D. I really appreciate it !

New banner !

 

Hey guys, I bet you all are wondering why I created a new blog, the reason is quite simple, it is because I can't edit my layouts and stuff that's why I created a new blog. A new blog, a new beginning. Hahah. Prelims start at 12 August. Like WTS, seriously? Hahahah. Anyways, I'm just so bored like usual. I'm now focusing on my Math, Sciences and most probably Geography. Well my SS is really cannot make it. I swear. Anyway this new banner is gonna be made for the blog. Muahahaha. LOLL. I'm not really stressed about it, but yeah. Dad is pissed off. And I bought my new school shoes already ! Hahahah. Having a lot of problems recently. My junior had a fight with her friends which is one of my another junior too. I don't know what to do about them larh. Then my bro KohKiong also having his own personal problems too. I really worried about him. Even though I long time no talk to him, but I'm really worried about him.  By the way, I got a new baking oven! Not really mine since it's my sis, but is her friend give her de ley! So good right? Haiz, envious of her. Anyway, I know she will let me use it first. Hahahah, since she don't know to use :B. Blog again when Im free. Ciaos.