2016 (Part 1)

The first quarter of 2016 was vague as I focused on working to earn income for school. It led me becoming restless as the months go along in a blurred ; with no goal in mind.

Along the process, I became fidgety and abnormally sensitive. Over my appearance exceptionally, and the size I was in when I checked my older photos in facebook after CNY this year which has been a routine I do annually to reflect on my actions over the past year.

Apparently,

in Dec 2014

in 2015, this was me.

Obviously, you will think I'm exaggerating with the photo above, as it does not show that I am that fat.
How about this next?

The moment this photo 'pop' up, I literally choked on the cup noodles and potato chips I was munching on.

Yes, why? I have this habit to slouch whenever I'm sitting or standing.

I love to wear dark-colored clothes because they always manage to cover up my 'fatty' areas.
Peeps out there, do you notice something from 2014 - 2015?

I did not lose my weight. In fact, I gained more if you really noticed. And, this is just way too obvious that I'm becoming a ball. Due to this photo, I tried various methods of dieting and losing weight, which worked.

Yeap, this is me during CNY 2016,

I had managed to lose 2 -3 kilograms as you can see, but I felt it is not enough for me to look great in clothes that are simple, elegant yet cheap.

"Situations which you face whereby clothes which you can wear does not mean it will look nice on you, once you wear it."

I have enough of such situation (👆 ) to last for a lifetime.

Therefore, I decided to seek assistance from an old friend of mine during early April as school period is nearing, and I'm getting much more fidgety and emotionally senstive.

He is really amazing; he managed to assist me to lose  kilogtrams which I never have managed to imagine.

+ 8.2KILOGRAMS IN 1 MONTH!!! +

"A dream come true, honestly."

Would you have imagined such events occurring in your life? Would you?

I didn't.

This friend of mine had became another mentor of mine (other than Dad), assisting me patiently, painstakingly w/o complaints on my attitude through.

I felt it was a blessing to met him; as I managed to meet and obtain many opportunities in becoming a better person.

The losing of weight had managed to assist me in building my confidence and self-esteem back gradually, also capturing attention of people around me.

Especially of those who laughed and mocked in the past.

Through this journey, I had managed to develop my character, becoming a more disciplined person, and not that weak girl which I was back in 2014 and 2015. Crying and brawling over the slightest issues.

I'm not sure of what thoughts you peeps have, probably the fact which I'm lying (in terms of the weight loss) , but why would I?

I want to seek attention from people, getting noticed by them; but

INFAMOUSITY

in acknowledging the efforts I made which led me gone so far.

+I shall end off my post here with

💖 + HAPPYDADDAY + 💖

Thank you so much for everything. Without you as a great mentor in my life, I wouldn't have been able to achieve that much in life. You are a person which I have always looked up and upon to when I have problems. You never failed to solve my problems, despite you having your own.

+ My hero daddy, I love you. + 💗

2015

It's holidays.

Wow. What a start up in a post. I planned to write "I'm back" literally, but I felt that will be too infantile. I guess that still makes me = me.

I realized I made an update in April, however, it is delved into the emotional aspect whereby I'm having my moments in being a whiny teenager. Well, this can't be helped when the hormone 'oestrogen' exists within me, yeah?

All right, back to the main point, I'm here to give a reflection / "sum up" on how 2015 was to me.

To begin off, 2015 was more of a recent event that is the turnover point in my teenage fairytale world. I can't exactly empathise whether the year is really bad. In human terms, as life tends to give a little lemons, you see.

As an individual whom love fairy tales in happy endings, 2015 was a year whereby I had tons of problems which come by running to me one by another. Those moments were so far the lowest points of the life that I was having as I'm feeling very distressed and troubled over them. It was also a year whereby I get the chance & opportunity to see whom are the people who really care for me as plainly Huiyin; staying through the whole ordeal of her being an ultimate bitch, and probably as a caring person? (Hmmm..)
However, thanks to my family (♡) and people like Wongwong, I had managed to overcome them and solve it in a gradual manner. :')

Throughout the year, I managed to obtain and gather new friends whom I could really trust, like people such as Hao Jie and Ong Lee whom are really goofballs that always make me go howling like a mad woman for the most lubricious reasons. These days, the people which I had came across in few years back, told me that I have changed as an individual; being in personality and appearance likewise. I was not exactly impressed and overjoyed in terms whereby I had gone slimmer and have a more composed persona as an individual. That's what life had done to me over the previous year which led me to where I am today.

Now, I am a student studying first year in Republic Polytechnic; in the new full-time course 'Diploma in Engineering Design with Business'. I am not as socially outspoken as how I am like in the olden days and this problem kinda got me a little worried over the 3 years I am going to be living in at here.

However, I had come to the fact whereby people should not judge by what they just see and observe alone, however listen to the person which they are interacting with, be it verbally or etcetera.

The fact whereby trying to be somebody whom you are not, is a very exhausting and knackering manner.

Moving on, I have been trying to upgrade myself in terms of cooking and technology during the holidays which is now; so to not spend the time moping about in home doing nothing other than sleeping and eating. I have just finished making the codes for my blog, as seen. It is definitely not an easy process like how I thought in the past.

(People whom known me long enough, have known my habits in blogskins.)

However, this time, I have not used anyone's skin in making it as this is made by me alone, whereby the only aspect is of having backgrounds and fonts which could be found in Google. I still ♡ skins that are colourful and complicated. However, I realized they are not of my style these days. I decided to leave my old posts alone as they are still a part of me representing a side which most of you have not seen.

I will delve into the aspect of 2016 in my next post. Stay tuned.

Humans.

In this world, one does not have anybody except for himself. Trusting, believing or having hopes too much, would just lead to higher chances of disappointment in oneself. Life is created in order to let a person go on their own journey, meeting many obstacles and miracles to prove it being meaningful. God is within us. We are God's eyes in seeing the world, being painted ugly or beautifully. Emotions such as happiness or sadness, just come together with the package when you are born. God gave humans a chance to create their own paths in the way they wanted. Each choice and step we made, determines our present and upcoming future. Emotions, I really dislike them. They always have a way of getting into me and my decisions more than I thought. I guess it could be said that I'm sentimental. I'm really irritated to be the one at the short end of the stick. Being involved with people who are always not worth. Friends, are they reliable? Trustable? Sincere? Fake? No one knows what they are thinking by heart, except for they themselves. There are moments whereby they are selfish, ungrateful, and being ignorant. The same goes for family and of course, I myself. WHY? Because we are humans, we will never understand how the way our brains twist and work in so many zillion ways. Therefore, we have family and friends to advise us, and guide us through the ropes. But remember, one's decisions must always be made for himself and not other people because whenever there is a debate, the chances of you yourself losing is always higher than the chances of you winning. And this, was caused by your will and determination which is a lot or in a lacking state. One is always alone, we cannot have high expectations on people to assist us when we really need them. This is because, the only person you can truly trust and do the job is yourself, and not people who will just get you into a emotional mess. A trivial mess, would eventually become a big fire, if its not handle quickly, efficiently and with care.

WHAT DID I WANNA DO?!

Hey guys, how's life? It's been real long since I have posted. To be honest, I have been lost in time that I do not know so many months have passed. And next week, My 'O' Level Oral is already starting. MT 'O' Level results being released.

Honestly, I am immune to it. Why? I don't know. I am LOST. REAL LOST. But what am I doing to settle my problem? Nothing. What do I really want in my life? I also don't know. Dearest Junxiang have been real worried for my welfare because I'm not studying at all. Ever since mid years. To be honest, I could not help but to cry over it. I am always crying every night under his arms, not knowing what to do; or just sleeping. WHAT DO I WANT FOR MYSELF?! I really don't know. My family, friends and especially Junxiang worry for me.
Crying is useless because I cant get anything out of it. My parents are working so hard just to give me money to go school. Even my classmates, those who do not study,  is already going for it. And me, still lost.

Is coming back for 'O' Levels the right choice? I do not know anymore; or should I quit school and go roaming around for a year, reflecting before I come back studying. Will it be too late?

I am lost. Everyone is worried. Yet me. Cant be bothered. Junxiang and me just quarrelled again. Over my attitude once again. He is worried, even bothering to tell me, which is rare for him to do so. And me, just being like that.

Can someone save me please?!
Am I bothering my loved ones with my problems?
Everything is just not going onto my way.

Someone, save me..

Happy Chinese New Year ~



2ndSis & Me (Didn't manage to take with my first sister only though :/)

 

With the cousins~



Hi guys, it's been a long time since I posted? Erm, actually not really a long time. Hahah. Anyways Happy Chinese New Year! May the angpaos I get will be more, :B. Just joking. School is really stressful with all the homework teachers have given and it don't seem to end. I don't even have time to write my fanfic because I need to focus on my F&N coursework other than these few days of rest. To be honest, I'm real tired. Like really tired, and definitely I am gaining weight. I think I'm going to cry when the PE teachers take my weight next Tuesday, because I have been eating a lot these few days, hahah. Anyway, Congratulations to me taking GPA (Good Progress Award) & EAGLES Award. EAGLES Award is regarding leadership, that's what I heard from my sister! I'm really afraid for this year's 'O' Levels. Hope these few days of relax won't slacken my motivation to do well. I shall update my story since I have on-ed my computer today. So I really hope the gods will bless me to do well this year. So yes, wish me luck!



Edusave Award Ceremony.

Me, when I'm procrastinating during studying ;/.

This year may be a tough year for me, but I am going to try my best on surviving for this year. Really hope I can go to Poly and get the course I want. So, God, please bless me!